A Call for Suggestions

Since it’s been almost a year since I’ve posted any reviews - not that I haven’t read (literally) dozens of books, scoured the FanFiction.net archives in several different areas, watched lots of movies and hours upon hours of TV – I wanted to give everyone a chance to make suggestions and recommendations.  I’m going to get started working on some reviews, commentaries and discussions about some of the stuff I’ve taken in during the last year but I’d love to hear what everyone else is interested in too.

Here are some guidelines as far as what I can get my hands on and may be able to review:

Movies – I can more or less get a hold of any new or old movies, and as I’ve seen a few really good ones during 2012 I intend to talk about them at some point in the near future.

TV – like with movies, I can generally get my hands on any TV shows out there; though I am somewhat limited to those shows that air or are available in Canada right now.  That doesn’t mean I can’t get my hands on shows that don’t normally air in Canada but I know there can be issues with some HBO series.

Books – I can be game for anything.  Obviously my usual interests lie in romance, paranormal, sci-fi, fantasy and/or some combination of all of the above, but I can be convinced to read books and stories that are outside of those genres.

FanFiction – if you’re a writer of or just an avid fan of FF, feel free to make recommendations.  My posts about FF aren’t as common but when I find something really good or an author that I think has an intriquing style I will talk about it.

Other Stuff of Interest - and don't be afraid to suggest other interesting things you've come across that you'd like to share or have shared: new/old songs, YouTube videos, blogs, poetry, authors, places, etc.  I like neat, cool, weird, interesting things - you may just put me on to something new!

As always, you can make your recommendations and suggestions here on this blog by commenting on this post or on the specific page – Books, TV and Movies, or FanFiction.  You can also email your suggestions to: apalusalight@gmail.com

Searching for the Words

I don’t know when I became one of those people who are unable to focus on and successfully work at more than one thing at a time… maybe I’ve always been that way.  Maybe I’m just lazy.  Maybe I wanted to believe that one thing, one outside thing, could make me as happy as the things and stories that go on inside of my head. 

For a while I think that it did.

For a while it fulfilled me in a way that only writing and dance was ever able to. 

Then I don’t know what happened.  Well I guess that’s not entirely true, I do know what happened.  It’s just not something that I can really talk about or explain here. (Legally binding contracts and all that…)

And now I’ve spent the last couple of months so – angry? Disillusioned? Depressed.  That’s my fault though, and I know it.  I’ve known it all along; I just, I would rather have someone else to blame.  It’s stupid and it’s dangerous to pin all your hopes, all your happiness (even if it’s just external happiness) on something that, while you have some control over your own personal interactions, is not something that you control on a whole.

I’ve always known that.  I’ve never allowed myself to do that before.  But I did it with this, I allowed myself to be sucked in to the belief that this was the most important thing.  This needed all of my attention, all my effort, all my passion… It didn’t.  It doesn’t.  I can be great at what I’m doing, I can help others to do amazing, wonderful things, but it’s not everything and it doesn’t require everything that’s inside of me.

It’s a matter of balance – of finding it, managing it, making it work.  And I’m trying.  I’m going to keep trying. 

I’m going to keep finding time, even if it’s just 10 minutes a night, to spend with my kids.

I’m going to take the time and make the effort to start writing again.  A year ago I was writing something, even something small, every day.  Now I can’t remember the last time I sat down at my computer and just wrote what was inside my head.  So I’ll start doing that again.

I’m going to try to be better.  A better sister, a better wife, mother, daughter.  A better person.  I’m going to try because I miss… Me. 

So I’m back, in what may be a very limited sense.  I do still have other demands on my time, other responsibilities.  I’ve got to find that balance I mentioned and that could be a struggle. But –

I’m back.